Chocolate Cream Pie

(Continued journal entry from a year ago- January 2010)
“Monday morning, our bags were packed and the younger kids were set to stay here. B, W and I began our easy road trip to Spokane. We were scheduled to see the doctor in the afternoon. He would at that time let us know Tuesday morning’s surgery schedule for the biopsy. The biopsy would need to be “open”, meaning a large incision in his leg to remove a piece of this bone tumor. We felt prepared for the course ahead- as much as possible.
We arrived early and transitioned from the aches of a long sit to a chair in the waiting room. I watched other patients come in and wondered what their stories were. I thought about the possible friendships that would be formed with other families with similar plights. B distracted himself with his cell phone, a new one he received for Christmas.
Before too long, B’s name was called.” (To be continued)

Unfortunately the surgery was risky; it required a large incision near vital blood carrying veins and a major artery. I remember I was grateful for the calm and resolution I felt. I had packed a large sack lunch of sorts and had plenty of snacks as well. I was unsure how long the appointment would be. We were unfamiliar with the town we were in, where the hotel was, or the options for restaurants. We also needed to wait to receive instruction on any special dietary concerns for B for pre-surgery.
I have always been one concerned about where my next meal will come from. (Almost freaky like.) When it comes to food, I don’t like uncertainty.
I left for college unable to cook anything. I played sports throughout high school, all four seasons. There wasn’t much time to learn how to cook. Unfortunately, there was no room in the dorms for a late sign up my freshman year. I lived off campus in an apartment with 5 other girls and grocery shopped for the first time in my life. I stuck with cold cereal, and frozen french fries my first semester. My roommates taught me how to make chocolate chip cookies. You can imagine how well that “diet” worked out for me.
It wasn’t until a few years later that I worked at a pizza-pasta restaurant that I tried my hand at cooking. We didn’t own a computer, I knew nothing of search engines or allrecipes.com, so I did a lot of experimenting with flavors to try and imitate dishes served at the restaurant. My favorite thing to try and copy was the desserts. As a waitress, I sold a lot of pie- because I loved the pie! The chocolate pie was firmer than the pudding texture Mom made on special occasions. Long after my last tip was collected, I came across this recipe that took me back to the pies at the restaurant.

Chocolate Cream Pie
1 ½ cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
12 oz. softened cream cheese
½ cup sugar
¼ cup soft butter
12 oz. Cool Whip
1 packaged Oreo crust.

Melt chocolate chips and stir until smooth. Set aside to cool.
Beat together cream cheese, sugar, and butter until creamy. Blend in chocolate.
Fold in Cool Whip. Fill Oreo crust with chocolate cream mixture. Refrigerate until firm. Serve chilled. Garnish with Chocolate Glaze.

The cream of this recipe can be used interchangeable in many recipes and compared with lighter versions such as here and here.

Funny-- that as I sat in the waiting room, on a critical trip to the doctor I was momentarily consumed with the fear of where my next meal was coming from :)

Blueberry Muffins

(Continued journal entry from a year ago- January 2010)
“Saturday night, I found some time and space alone outside for awhile. I surveyed the beautifully bright stars and began to speak with God. I told Him I would do my best to be strong. I asked Him if He was going to take B early from our family. I told Him I would understand why He would want him. I know B would be a valiant worker on the other side of things in continuing God’s work. I told Him that I would love to have B’s stay with us extended, but would understand why He may have a different course laid out for him. I felt peace and love-- for the short term- and the long term.” (To be continued)

Understanding God’s work and our role in it is an intriguing thought and at times a seemingly long suffering task. I can identify times where I was faithful in serving as God needed me too, and many times where I was somewhat sluggish in my opportunities.
In chatting with my sister about this recently, I recognized that in sluggish times, most of the time what was expected of me or the opportunity before me wasn’t really that hard. And yet, my attitude would be far from where it was a year ago on that cold January night. Often times, when my slothfulness results in subpar service, I ease my guilt by heading to my kitchen. Somehow, if I can’t completely step up, I feel a little less guilty if I bake something for someone. Sometimes the treat is meant to say-
“I’m sorry.”
“I’ll try harder next time.” or
“Thinking of you.”
I used to always make chocolate chip cookies- for anyone or any occasion. Some days, I put forth a little more effort bake something especially for the recipient. I am not a big fan of blueberries, but a year ago, I learned that my across the street neighbor is. I practiced and experimented with a few recipes and recently baked him a batch of blueberry muffins.

Blueberry Muffins
½ cup soft butter
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 cups flour
2 tsp. baking powder
¼ tsp salt
½ cup milk
2 cups blueberries

Cream butter with sugar. Stir in eggs and vanilla. Add all of the dry ingredients. Slowly add milk as you mix in the dry ingredients. Fold in blueberries. Sprinkle with Butter Streusel and bake at 350 degrees 15-18 minutes, or until done.

Butter Streusel
½ cup sugar
¼ cup flour
¼ cup cold butter
½ tsp. cinnamon
Cut all ingredients together until crumbly.


I rescently heard, "If you want to discover yourself, loose yourself in the service of others." There is an extra good feeling when I put forth the extra effort and serve with a little deeper meaning, a lighter heart, and an eye single to the Lord’s will. Much more often, I’d like to be able to say "I’ll go where you want me to go dear Lord, I’ll do what you want me to do.”

Snickerdoodles

(Continued journal entry from a year ago- January 2010)
After he came home from his workout, I had him watch the play. “Yep.” He said with surety. “I remember grabbing a heating pad at halftime- to keep those muscles from tightening up.”
So-I was holding on to the slight chance that the five inch tumor in my son’s leg was the result of a fractured femur, and not a cancerous mass. Over the next few days, I thought less about his possible injury and more about the likelihood that it was cancer. I thought about the impact this may have on Y and J. As I drove home from some errands that afternoon, I attempted to drown out my thoughts with some loud music. Unfortunately, I started thinking louder ;)” (To be continued)

One of my thoughts centered around my conflicted ideas of whom to communicate with. B had only told a few close friends. We hadn’t told J much of anything, but as B missed more and more school with the heavy schedule of tests, I reached out to the high school principal and one of his assistants. The assistant principal resolved all my concerns with B’s attendance and keeping this confidential. The principal, I knew would directly look out for Y.
Y has always peacefully walked in his brother’s shadow. His brother has always loved and respected him and so it’s been a safe place to walk. Y’s not one to be out spoken. Effort is required to unlock him- at least more so than with B. My concern was that he would become lost in the physical, mental, and emotional efforts toward his brother. I needed someone who would have Y’s back, and would look out for him.
A few months ago, Y had done a small favor for a friend of mine. Unexpectedly one evening as Y was pounding out the last of his homework problems, the doorbell rang. My friend delivered a plate of Y’s favorite cookies- still warm from the oven.

Snickerdoodles

1 ½ cups sugar
½ cup softened butter
½ cup Butter-flavored Crisco
2 eggs
2 ¾ cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cream of tartar
¼ tsp. salt

Cream sugar with butter and Crisco. Stir in eggs, then dry ingredients. Roll in cinnamon sugar mixture (2 Tablespoons sugar mixed with 2 teaspoons cinnamon). Bake at 375 degrees 7-10 minutes.

Sometimes the things I make or bake communicate for me. Y feels a little extra grateful when I say “I love you” by making one of his favorites.
I’m sure you see how grateful I am that others appreciate him too, or look out for him when my focus is demanded in a different direction.

Chicken Pasta

(Continued journal entry from a year ago- January 2010)
“As I stared at the computer screen, B hollered in at me from his plate of pre-workout pasta at the kitchen counter. “Mom.”
“Yeah?”
“It was the first home game of the season…just before halftime… I was running a crossing route over the middle…I had double coverage… I didn’t catch it…check out that one.” With that announcement, he followed it with a final bite of pasta, and a “see ya” as he headed off to the gym.
I dug up the tape W made of that game. His camera is less grainy and usually had a little zoom to B. I found the play. I watched it over and over in forward, slow motion and reverse. It looked similar to all the others. He ran a crossing route across the middle. He had double coverage. The pass required a large vertical leap. He couldn’t snag the pass, but was greeted by two defenders. One of which seemed to have his knee collide with B’s left femur. He landed on the ground. He shook it off as he ambled back to the huddle. The last play before the half, he sprinted in seemingly effortless form on a under thrown post pattern. Then off to the locker room with the team at half time.” (To be continued)

I spent a lot of time that afternoon watching that one play, again and again. I was grateful I had made a large vat of the family’s favorite pasta the previous day because the dinner hour quickly came, and I was still watching game tape.

I suppose it appropriate to share our family’s favorite pasta dish. B likes it done low-fat, Y needs it full fat, so often, there are two bowls sitting side-by side on the counter, meeting everyone’s needs.

Chicken Pasta

2 T. butter, melted (can be omitted)
Add :
1 T Good Seasons Italian dressing mix
1 cup chicken broth or water
1 can golden cream of mushroom soup or cream of chicken soup. (98% fat free can be substituted)
8 oz. cream cheese (fat free works great)
1 pound cooked chicken pieces

Whisk together and heat butter, Italian seasoning, chicken broth, canned soup, and cream cheese until smooth. Add cooked chicken pieces. Continue heating until bubbly. Serve over cooked pasta (B prefers whole grain penne).

Before B headed back to college, our family gathered together over a bowl of chicken pasta. It’s one of the few signature dishes that is enjoyed by all five of us.

Oatmeal Cookie- Warm Spiced Apple Sundae

(Continued journal entry from a year ago- January 2010)
“I spent hours day after day during the first week of January watching every down of every game to see if any of the hits could seemingly produce the impact that would have been required to fracture his femur. B would come home from school and look at the plays I had highlighted over the days videos. It seemed more often than not he had two defenders on him when he caught the ball, and always had to make leaping heroics to secure a catch. After the second full afternoon of watching game tape and B saying “no” to all hits that I had him review, I was frustrated. I know the frustration was not out of lack of success in finding the hit. It was the frustration I felt when it seemed evident that somehow I’d have to adjust from being a mom in the bleachers to a mom in the doctor’s waiting room. My comfortable role of making brownies had changed to my role of readying B for his biopsy surgery scheduled for Tuesday, January 12. I stayed in at the computer, watching more football, wishing things were different, not just now, but then. Sadly- there were only a few games to review tape of. I delighted in spending that time just watching him. Whether it was just running a route, or blocking for a gain on the ground, I was reminded of how tall, strong and quick he had become over the previous years. I was reminded of how fleeting some moments in life are.” (To be continued)

I remember watching those football tapes like it was yesterday. I always thought B would be the one who surprised his teammates, coaches, and the town’s folk of his abilities. He’s a quiet kid. Not one to draw attention to himself. No one expected much from him because he was essentially unknown. That’s not how things turned out. His football season ended before it much began, and we were left with a far different course to follow. Reflectively, it was a good course, but it took a lot of faith. I was grateful B had an extra large dose of faith. At times, I think we were all able to lean on him.
It was a comfort to see B at peace. and speaking of comfort, this dessert hits the spot. When I bake, sometimes its fun, to reach out and experiment trying to replicate something I’ve tasted. But my kids prefer the classics they grew up with. Part of what makes them their favorites are the memories that coincide, or just the security in stability. I like to take a classic and change it enough to present it in a new way. For example, a classic oatmeal cookie paired with warm cinnamon apples, vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce.

Oatmeal Cookies

Cream:
1 cup shortening (Butter flavored Crisco)
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
Stir in:
2 eggs
2 tsp. Vanilla
Add at once and stir:
1 3/4 cups flour
1 tsp. Salt
1 tsp. Soda
2 cups quick oats
1 tsp. Cinnamon
½ tsp. Nutmeg
Bake cookies at 350 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes.

Warm Cinnamon Apples

5 cups sliced apples
1 T lemon juice
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/8 tsp. nutmeg

Toss sliced apples with the rest of the ingredients. Heat them in a skillet just until tender-crisp.
Serve with vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce. I like Mrs. Richardson’s Butterscotch Caramel jarred sauce.

B would enjoy this dessert. Y and J would snatch a few cookies and be delighted the same. I’m blessed with three great kids. Each very different: strengths, weaknesses, hobbies, etc. But what I see is that when we work together as a family, toward a common goal- we balance each other- especially noted during times of trial.
These times we have as a family are fleeting. I'm grtaeful for the advice given to me to enjoy them. I try to do just that!

Coconut Pecan Fudge Layer Cake

(Continued journal entry from a year ago- January 2010)
“We were referred to an orthopedic oncologist in Spokane who ordered MRIs and CT scans to be completed prior to our office visit. By simply the power of suggestion I was able to secure a copy of all of the radiologist reports. Obviously, there was a chance this was cancer. I wanted to google all of the terms and possibilities so I felt somewhat educated when we met with the doctor. Basically, it was two possibilities: osteo sarcoma, or a healing fracture. I wondered what the possibility was of his leg having been injured to that degree (a fracture) and warrant no complaining. I had recalled him saying, at some point, he got hit in the thigh and expected a banner bruise big enough to brag about. He hadn’t even remembered that. He reminded me that playing football meant something hurt every day.” (To be continued)
B never really complained much about pain. Sometimes he would be stiff after sitting. My favorite place for him to sit was up to the counter. Cooking, baking, and any other tasking in the kitchen seemed effortless and enjoyable as he would sit and chat about the comings and goings, highlights and lowlights of his day. B has never complained about food either (well except for the lack thereof at college). He eats mostly healthy selections, but saves simple carb indulgences for the dessert variety.
I finally remade my cake. It’s a bit of a labor of love. I felt it appropriate as a farewell send-off as B headed back to college. I shared it with my husband’s extended family. The reviews received high marks.

Coconut, Pecan, Fudge Layer Cake

Pecan Coconut Filling
1 cup(s)
sugar
1 can(s) (12-ounce) evaporated milk
1/2 cup(s) unsalted butter
3 large egg yolks
1 teaspoon(s) vanilla
2 1/3 cup(s) (one 7-ounce package) flaked coconut
1 1/2 cup(s) chopped pecans

• In a medium saucepan, combine the sugar, milk, butter, egg yolks, and vanilla. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until thickened, about 10 minutes.
• Stir in coconut and pecans. Transfer to a bowl and, stirring occasionally, allow to cool to room temperature before frosting the cake.

Coconut Cream Filling
1/2 stick butter
1 (8 oz.) cream cheese
3/4c. milk
2 sm. Coconut cream instant pudding boxes
1 (12 oz.) Cool Whip
• Cream the butter and cream cheese together. Mix pudding together with the milk, mix it with the cream cheese mixture. Fold in Cool Whip.

Chocolate Glaze
• Melt together. Cool somewhat.

Make Yummy in My Tummy Chocolate Cake omitting chocolate chips in two round pans, cool, slice each round in half.
Assemble cake alternating cake layers beginning at the bottom:
Cake, coconut pecan filling, cake, coconut cream filling, cake, coconut pecan filling, cake, coconut cream filling. Frost the sides with your favorite chocolate frosting (I’m not afraid to use canned here. Cover the top with chocolate glaze. Add palmfuls of chopped pecan pressed to the sides of the frosted walls of the cake. Chill thoroughly. Serve chilled.

B is on his way, and I’m left with an empty seat at the counter, and a big piece of cake. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!

Scotcheroos

This time of year, I am typically very reflective. The kids are all back to school; I am left with the quiet of the house. Today, my thoughts keep turning to where I was a year ago. I often wonder if I’ve learned everything I was supposed to from the experience. Truly, a lot of baking was my therapy and distraction a year ago. This is my journal entry from January 2010:
“On New Year’s Eve, Bren had a final check on his shoulder following his eventual season ending injury in week 4 of his senior high school football season. He had a somewhat serious brachial plexus injury (nerves in his neck). B had been wondering whether trying to walk on as a wide receiver somewhere next year (fall 2010) was even going to be a possibility. He received great news that the nerves carrying vital messages from his brain to his arm and shoulder seemed to all be firing. He was told that he still needed to continue to rebuild strength, but through diligence, he would return to full use and ability. Thus he is tentatively cleared to play football next fall. However, his hip had been bugging him whenever he played basketball hard for 45 or more minutes- constant running. Since he decided not to play high school basketball this year, the pain was not daily- more like weekly, or so. His orthopedic x-rayed his hip. At the bottom of the screen, there was a questionable mass near the center of his femur. They x-rayed the femur and saw a large tumor. “(To be continued. . .)
A tumor is an abnormal growth. So, on a night of much worldwide celebration, we were somber with the news acquired through an x-ray. However, we were grateful to have our good friends visiting. We were able to focus less on the day’s news and more on a simple game of cards.
This New Year’s I made my family one of Y’s favorite treats. I was first introduced to them by my husband’s aunt at a simple a summer BBQ, and was reacquainted when my sister-in-law brought us a plate as she had requested the recipe at the BBQ. They are quick and simple, and rich with chocolate indulgence as I have bumped up the amounts from the original recipe.

Scotcheroos
6 cups Rice Krispies
1 cup sugar
1 cup corn syrup
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup+ semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup+ butterscotch chips
Over medium heat, dissolve sugar into corn syrup. Remove from heat as it begins to boil. Stir in peanut butter. Add rice krispies and stir. Press into greased 9x13 or 10x15 pan. Melt chips on low stirring constantly. Spread over rice krispy base. Let stand until set. (I often fast forward this part by putting them in the freezer.)
The boys were playing volleyball and games with friends celebrating 2011. I enjoyed a quiet evening at home, watching a basketball game I had taped, grateful for an uneventful New Year’s Eve.